Loving Excellently

It's funny how life gets so incredibly busy when you begin to fast and pray. Freeing up of time by abstaining from several things are immediately filled up with other tasks that need to be done. This week has been killer in terms of school work and the amount of hours I've actually slept. I took some time out for myself and the Lord after class on Tuesday at the gym. (Yes, I DO go regularly now! haha)

As I was on the elliptical, I had Bill Hybels running on my ipod. He was preaching about what it meant to love God excellently. In his sermon, he talked about Malachi 1.

So here's the 4-1-1 on M to the alachi...

The priests in M's day were bringing to the alter blemished and deformed lambs for worship offering. Instead of searching for their best choice lambs they went on a search for the ones that were about to keel over and die. The Lord was so insulted by this act - He basically said,

"When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?" says the LORD Almighty."

God would rather not have them sacrifice anything! If they were to offer their worst on the alter they might as well should shut the temple doors and cease worship. (vs.10)

B.Hybels then began to talk about how hard this message hit home for him a few years back. He was 23 and really struggling with the Lord about a particular matter at hand. It was such a battle that he locked himself away in a hotel for four days to duke it out with God. In those four days he debated, pleaded and compromised. God had called him to start a church but he was full of fear. He was 23 and he had no seminary training. If he accepted God's call he would 'sacrifice' the BEST years of his young adult life. At that point, he had offers for commercial/business opportunities. He had success and all the glories of it at the reach of his hand.

But God was calling him to plant a church.

God also told him to read Malachi 1. As he read it, he realized that God wanted ALL of him. He wanted excellence from Bill not just parts of Bill on Sunday mornings. But ALL of Bill. At the end of his four day wrestle, B.Hybels obeyed and out of that obedience birthed the Willow Creek Church.

As I was listening to this sermon, I couldn't help but feel like 'this is SO me'. It's been the same message since last week. He wants ALL of me. He wants me to love Him excellently, with everything that I have. But the amazing thing I was reminded of was that regardless of how I love Him, He will ALWAYS love me excellently, provide excellently, lead excellently.

Love, love, love.

Last night we had a joint worship with KCF but I had decided to leave early because of a huge review paper due the next day. I had no idea what the agenda was for the evening except the fact that I was going to leave at 8pm. My mind was so busied and so occupied that I was literally running from task to task. I had to be out at a certain time so I could work on this or that...life was on the move with no time to stop.

Oh but God had an agenda for me! I wasn't leaving at 8. My friend, Jesse got up to preach which was a complete surprise to me. I had no idea that there was going to be a message! But once he got up there, he let the Holy Ghost take charge and out of his mouth came words that I needed to hear so bad.

As I struggle and wrestle about 'what next God?' I had missed the whole point. I was getting onto it at some parts of my search...but had overlooked the importance of the journey towards the 'what next' destination. I began to have a works mentality thinking that I needed to get involved, serve in a particular ministry just for the sake of starting to 'do' things again. But no, that's just not it.

The whole idea is all about LOVING God first. Love Him and love others excellently. That's the whole purpose in life. Once you got that down, you'll know what to do. Your 'works' flow naturally out of that excellent and sincere love. As I heard this from Him last night, I just felt such a strong sense of affirmation. He reminded me that this year HASN'T been a waste of time as I stepped down from official ministry service to relearning what it means to be a friend and the importance of relationships which in fact is the core of ministry.

Sometimes I get lost and confused when I strive and strive for what the destination is but I forget to embrace the journey. I focus so much on the 'fruit' and taking care of what shows on the outside that I forget that being rooted in Christ and ministered to on the inside is SO MUCH MORE important to the Lord! Inside out - what is on the inside flows out - never the other way around.

It was such a timely message...especially in light of the past two weeks. God is far more concerned about me growing more intimately and closer to Him than anything else. And OUT OF THAT, will come, so naturally, what I'm supposed to do next.

It's so simple.

Love God, Love Others.

As He was affirming me throughout the sermon, my friend Joeie came up next to me and told me she had something to tell me. Besides struggling with lost-ness in direction, fatigue and piles of work - I was also struggling with trusting God in His provision for certain things. Yet strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, right?

I had debated whether or not I should go to our CCF retreat over reading week because I really couldn't afford going. But I really wanted to go and even had all the forms filled out. The deadline for applications was either yesterday or today. I didn't have the funds but I decided to trust God and let Him know that it's in His hands. It was an unspoken prayer and I don't remember even telling people about it.

Joeie comes up to me and says, 'Someone wanted to bless you and is paying for your whole retreat costs'. I sat there dumbfounded with tears rolling down my eyes. Nobody really knew my need but the Lord did! Then I heard the three most crucial words I needed to hear from the Him:

"I'm with you."

He showed me just HOW much He loves me through His word...but this tangible gift just went way beyond I sat there just in awe of how EXCELLENTLY He loves me!!

Last night couldn't have been more timely....from the worship to the Word about loving God, loving others and letting the rest just flow; to that brother or sister in Christ who is displaying His love to me through their gift. (Thank you...you don't know just how loudly that spoke of His love for me)

All of which reminded me...affirmed me...and embraced me with the truth that He's with me.

Friends, life is all about love...love God, love others.